How to Plan a Trip Where a 70 Year Old and a 12 Year Old Both Want to Come Back
A grandparent fishing with their grandson
The hardest part of planning a multigenerational trip isn't choosing the destination. It's the fact that your seventy year old father and your twelve year old daughter want almost nothing in common from a holiday.
A twelve year old wants activity, other children, and something to talk about when she's back at school. A seventy year old wants quiet mornings, a good book, maybe a round of golf, and dinner somewhere he can hear himself think.
So how do you plan one trip where both of them have a lovely time?
Start with a conversation, not a compromise
The first mistake is assuming everyone should do everything together. They shouldn't.
Before anything is booked, ask each person one question. Not "where shall we go?" but "what would make this a good trip for you?"
Grandpa might say quiet mornings, golf, and one proper dinner without anyone to manage. Your twelve year old might say other kids and something exciting. And you, sitting in the middle, are probably thinking: I want everyone to be happy, and I don't want to be the cruise director.
That's the real brief. Not one perfect place for everyone, but one place where each person can have the trip they want.
The three layers that make it work
Things you do together. Usually less than people expect. Breakfast together most mornings. One or two experiences that interest every generation for real: a private market tour, a cooking class, a boat day, a scenic drive with a good lunch at the end.
Things you do apart, at the same time. This is where most trips go wrong, and it's why the property matters so much. While Grandpa plays golf and the children are at kids club, the parents need somewhere to have a long lunch by a quiet pool. At a lot of resorts, the pool is where the kids club is, and nobody can do their own thing without leaving the property.
Room to change your mind. Grandma feels tired one day and wants to stay in. A good property makes that easy, and nobody else's plans fall apart. A mediocre one treats it as a problem.
The rooms matter more than the resort
Everyone wants to talk about the pool and the view. Very few people ask about the rooms, but a multigenerational trip is only as good as its room plan.
Can the grandparents have a ground floor room that's truly ground floor, not a European ground floor with six steps up to it? Is there a lift? Can they get to bed without walking past the bar at nine o'clock? Are the children close enough to their parents to make bedtime easy, but far enough away to feel grown up?
These are the questions I ask every hotel before I book, and the answers often change which hotel I recommend.
Let everyone keep their own pace
A twelve year old wants to be busy. A seventy year old wants to rest. You don't fix that by finding a middle pace nobody enjoys. You fix it by not expecting the same pace from everyone.
Some days you're all together. Some days the children do their thing and the adults have a proper day off. Some days the grandparents have the children to themselves, which is often everyone's favourite day. And I always build in at least one day with nothing planned at all.
Talk about money early
Multigenerational trips cost more than the holiday you'd normally take. You need better rooms, activities running at the same time, and a property that can deliver all of it.
That conversation is far easier before you book than on arrival. If everyone understands why the ground floor room or the villa costs more, the value is obvious. I'll be writing more about how to handle the money side in a post next month.
What makes the difference
The trips where everyone comes home saying "let's do that again" all have one thing in common. Someone asked what each person needed before anything was booked, and then chose the property based on the answers rather than the photographs.
The seventy year old gets his golf, quiet mornings and a grown up dinner. The twelve year old gets activities, other children and stories for school. The parents get a few hours where they can relax.
And a trip where everyone's happy is the one they'll ask to repeat.
If you're planning one and would like help, you can work directly with me here.
Quick answers
How do you plan a trip for grandparents and grandchildren? Ask each person what would make it a good trip for them, then choose a property where everyone can do their own thing at the same time, with only a few activities shared.
What should a multigenerational resort have? Ground floor or lift access rooms, a kids club away from the quiet pool, early and late dining, and staff who can arrange separate activities on the same day.
How much downtime should a multigenerational trip have? At least one day with nothing planned, and a slow start most mornings for the older generation.
